The nightly newscast leads with a grim report of a babysitter, who, annoyed with a child’s crying, bit the child’s face and then sodomized him with an alkaline battery.Yahoo! News reports that an 18-month-old boy fell 20 feet from a window while his babysitter slept soundly nearby.
Recent headlines from Australia and Rhode Island follow the trials of teenaged sitters who allegedly sexually assaulted the children under their care.
Parents relying on these media reports seem justified in being overly paranoid when hiring a babysitter. Background checks and an extensive interview process should be the norm. In an era when teenagers may seem too irresponsible or distracted to take care of a child, parents say they carefully consider a potential sitter’s age, experience and training. But there still remain many young teens minding the children, teens who report a laidback hiring process and a lack of strict parent-imposed regulations.
Kristin Schneeman, mother of two toddlers in Bethesda, Md., said she collects information about her potential babysitters but does not always follow through.
“I usually ask for references, though I confess I don't always get around to calling them,” she said.
Sitter Bethany Swanson, 20, of Bethesda, settled her jobs as a teenager over the phone, not in person.
“I never had a formal meeting or anything,” said Swanson. “[The mom] just asked me questions about whether I'd babysat before, if I had my own car, basics like that.”
Surely in this era of safety-concerned parents, babysitters must know CPR and the Heimlich maneuver, right?
Swanson laughs and responds with a simple, “Nope.
“I think I had a mom ask, but I'm not [certified], and they didn't care enough to not hire me.”
Sixteen-year-old Ava Bleiberg, of Rockville, Md., agreed to a mother’s request to meet her daughter before Bleiberg babysat. She said the interview turned out to be quite short.
“[This] child did not like to have strangers babysit her,” said Bleiberg. “The meeting lasted all of 10 words, then [the girl] jumped into her mother's car and her mom told me that was all.”
Teenagers babysitting these days may not be any more prepared or experienced than those of past decades.
Bleiberg said that she might be a more attractive employee if she were trained in CPR.
“I should personally look into taking a class,” she said.
While electronic resources like the American Red Cross (http://www.redcross.com/) offer an online “Babysitter’s Training” course, no teen interviewed for this story sought any extra training, electronic or otherwise.
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The age of the listserv
Parents, on the other hand, rely heavily on the internet to search for sitters on sites such as www.babysitters.com and http://www.sittercity.com/. They post questions relating to hiring issues on sites like www.dcurbanmom.com. But while the internet provides easy hiring tools for parents, the internet’s impersonal nature doesn’t always mean more scrutiny for the potential employee.
Bleiberg and 16-year-old Stephanie Kennedy, also of Bethesda, said they had offers from potential employers after their mothers put their daughters’ names on a listserv. The interview, the next step, wasn’t always very extensive.
In the case of Abby Singley, a 14-year-old Bethesda resident, her potential employer simply visited with her before hiring her.
“My sister and I chatted with the mom and kids about a variety of subjects, most of which were unrelated to babysitting,” she said.
Kennedy is hired often in her neighborhood, but admits to some ignorance in terms of how her name is networked.
“I think there might be some kind of YahooGroup about it,” she said.
Changes over time
Ten years ago, Susan Johnson of Bethesda was looking for a daily sitter for her two sons. She said that she and her husband reluctantly lowered their standards.
“I don't remember calling references,” Johnson said, calling that a “scary thought.” She added, “It was hard to find people so it almost felt like we hired the person that showed up on time for the meeting and spoke English.”
When Schneeman was babysat in Pennsylvania in the ‘70s, she said standards seemed looser for sitters, with no talk of calling references.
Safety instructions may be more demanding and specific these days. Kennedy recalled a mother who left typed meal preparations and portion instructions.
In 1990, when Abby’s mother Susan Singley was raising her first daughter, she did not create detailed lists for babysitters.
“Although I discussed safety generally, I do not recall specific instructions,” she said.
The more things change…
While some may feel that there has been a spike in child care controversies, and that parents everywhere are stashing teddy bear nanny cams on the mantle, babysitting seems to be a relatively enjoyable and lucrative business for area teens.
“I love the children I watch,” said Abby. “I really enjoy getting to play with them, yet mother them, too.”
Mothering practice is not the only reason teens seek out babysitting jobs.
“I like playing board games, doing their make-up and especially arts and crafts,” Bleiberg said. “I never grew out of my coloring book phase.”
As for the parents, many deny any problems with sitters.
Susan Singley, mother of Abby and Rachel, 18, said her daughters never complained about their sitters and Schneeman said her children “love” sitters.
Sitters report the same.
“Given the hugs I receive from kids when I arrive, I can confidently say they like me,” Abby said.
So although the technology is available, Susan Singley “never considered using a hidden camera, even after a bad experience with a baby-sitter.”
Schneeman puts it bluntly: “I’m not that paranoid.”
Perhaps Schneeman’s comfort is warranted.
All interviewed for this story said that they requested that parents clearly display emergency contact information. Bleiberg noted that she would not hesitate to interrupt a romantic dinner if needed.
“I feel comfortable using that number if I run into a situation that I need help with,” she said.
As for parents worrying that a hormone-crazed teenaged babysitter will invite her boyfriend over?
In Kennedy’s case, the only extra-curricular activity happening is catching up on her Zs.
“One time the parents came home, found me asleep on their couch and had to wake me up,” she said. “That was a little uncomfortable.”
Perhaps an even worse scenario a parent might return to: no more ice cream in the freezer.
“I always love when they tell me I can help myself to anything in the fridge,” Bleiberg said. “Usually I extend this to the freezer as well and go straight for the ice cream once the kids are asleep.”
Links for further information:
http://www.fingerprintamerica.com/, http://www.redcross.com/, http://www.safesitter.org/ for safety courses
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/ for parent forums
http://www.sittercity.com/, http://www.babysitters.com/ for hiring sitters
Click below to hear a 7-year-old talk about his babysitter
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